


Barren Humor

by dogmatix, norcumi



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Clones, GFY, Gen, Rako Hardeen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-11
Updated: 2015-08-11
Packaged: 2018-04-14 04:54:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4551300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dogmatix/pseuds/dogmatix, https://archiveofourown.org/users/norcumi/pseuds/norcumi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Obi-Wan's "death" and return from the Rako Hardeen incident, a trend starts among the GAR troops. The officers have Opinions on the matter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Barren Humor

**Author's Note:**

> At one point, there was [ a Tumblr post](http://norcumi.tumblr.com/post/123289407284/bedlamsbard-okay-but-following-obi-wans) floating around where post Rako Hardeen, Obi-Wan gains a reputation similar to Chuck Norris. It was too grand an idea to pass up. All Chuck Noriss-isms are taken from the original post, so all credit to bedlamsbard for those.

“General Grievous checks his closet every night for Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

Rex pauses mid-step as chuckles break out through the shinies. He did _not_ just hear what he thought he heard.

Mostly unmarked faces turn towards another brother in the circle, and the man leans back, pondering. “Obi-Wan Kenobi once played Corellian roulette with a fully-loaded sniper rifle and won.”

Snickers and applause greet this, and Rex is already marching stiffly over to the idiots who haven’t yet earned more than basic 501st stripes on their armor. Stupid young _shinies_. General Kenobi had _died_ as far as General Skywalker and the command staff had known. You might be able to joke about a brother making it back from the dead, but you don’t fucking mock _Jedi_.

You especially don’t mock Kenobi when –

His concerns materialize like General Skywalker was using the Force for the express purpose of scaring the shit out of the young bucketheads. The man’s absolutely pale with fury, stalking up to the circle with a palpable aura of rage and who the hell knows what else simmering in the Force – enough that Rex can feel it from where he’s hustling over. By the time Rex has reached the group, Skywalker has proven that two plus years in the army – not to mention General Kenobi’s expansive tutelage – means he knows how to use language to flay a man and burn paint off of walls with invective. By the time he’s finished yelling and stalked off, never once letting go of his lightsaber enough for it to stop creaking under the pressure, the shinies look like they’re ready to find a nice rock to crawl under.

Rex has been standing behind his general, at attention and radiating his own cold disapproval. He pulls off his helmet and lets an icy glare add frostbite to the shinies’ wounds. “General Kenobi has done a lot for the army, and for all us clones, here _and_ passed. Yes, we’re all glad he’s back, but can the jokes, especially when General Skywalker or commanding officers are around – including me. We’re all a bit touchy about it.” He shows his teeth. “And if you haven’t learned by now that I see everything and hear everything, go ahead and try having another one of these conversations. Dismissed!”

Normally, hearing whispers about how his look could freeze all of Kamino would make Rex feel better. Instead he’s walking away, trying to find the line between clenching his hands in rage and letting his hands shake from remembered reaction. Gods, if Obi-Wan ever does anything like that again, he’s going to hunt the man down and shoot him himself, and Rex suspects there would be a line for the privilege.

* * *

Cody is almost late meeting with General Kenobi. He’s brushing his hands off in disgust as he trots up to the open sided command tent, glaring through the pouring rain and wondering how long they’re going to be stuck on this hellhole of a puddle that makes Kamino look only slightly damp. He shakes off his poncho before looking up at the General, only to go still. Obi-Wan is politely waiting for Cody to get ready for a tactical discussion, but that’s a cover – Cody knows the signs well. The general is _listening_ , his gaze off to the side, distant and strange.

Cody looks over to see a small cluster of troopers huddled near a gunship, laughing over something that hopefully makes the long guard shift worthwhile. He blinks and goes to set his bucket on the table, only to freeze as the men’s words finally reach him.

“Obi-Wan Kenobi was once bitten by an acklay and after five days of excruciating pain, the acklay died!”

Laughter ripples out again, ringing through Cody’s ears like tinnitus from an ion cannon firing too close for comfort. He snarls without quite realizing he’s doing it, slamming his bucket down the last centimeter or two onto the duraplast. Those fucking _idiots_. The general _died._ Those useless _shabuir_ were probably reciting his name in Remembrance along with the whole 212, and now it’s a fucking _joke_?

He’s caught between shooting them and shooting out the mechanics to the latrine areas so they’ll have to take care of that for the rest of this miserable campaign, when Obi-Wan’s voice cuts through the red rage. “Let them have their fun, Commander.”

It’s shock as much as anything else that has Cody turning to look at his damnfool Jedi. The man just stands there, pinched expression and pale, wan face clear under the thin beard, framed by the wild gravity-defying hair that’s growing back in.

“Sir!” he protests, still struggling with the emotional whiplash of “thank the Force he’s alive!” that is wonder and relief; the fury and betrayal that _no one said anything_ , that as Obi-Wan’s second-in-command he had still been left in the fucking dark like some puling shiny that didn’t know how to act or keep his mouth shut. On top of it is the endless mental dissonance at his baby-faced general who pretty obviously needs his hair at a certain length before he can tame it, and it’s got at least another week even with this endless rain slicking it down.

“It’s good for morale, Cody. Let it be.” Obi-Wan sounds too damn fucking serene as he motions for Cody to stay put, and he ducks out into the rain to go have words with the men. He doesn’t have the words Cody would like to hear – a dressing down would be minimally acceptable, and a good chewing out would be far better, so long as there’s a fuckton of punishment detail to go along with either.

Instead Obi-Wan cracks wise with them, making some witty comment about an acklay before changing the topic with a deftness that reminds him yet again that his general didn’t earn the title “Negotiator” ironically.

Most of the time.

Obi-Wan quickly shoos the men off to less volatile areas, coming back into the tent with his hair defiantly sticking up in spiky clumps. He’s making a good effort to present Jedi serenity and peace and all that shit, but Cody can see the tightness around the mouth that the beard would normally hide, the grief weighing down normally steady shoulders.

“It’s not good for _your_ morale. Sir.” He growls it as he stalks over to the command table, trying to swallow down the mix of guilt, rage, hurt, loss, and being adrift. Obi-Wan gives him the “I’m a Jedi, I know what you’re feeling” look.

“We all have to pay for our sins somehow. Let it _be_ , Cody.” For all the sternness in his tone, only grief shows in Obi-Wan’s eyes, and he takes a moment to rest a hand on Cody’s shoulder in mute apology. It’s the same apology Obi-Wan’s been making since his miraculous return to life, and once again Cody shoves his confused mix of emotions down and away. For now, they have a job to do. Cody might have to shoot up half the target range later, but at least it’ll be for a good cause. That’s what his general had said about the Rako Hardeen mess too, visibly uncomfortable and unable to meet Cody’s eyes, that it had been for ‘a good cause.’ Gods, but Cody hates that phrase. The scar the whole thing left on the 212th, Skywalker, Rex – it wasn’t worth it. Even the ploy’s success left only bitterness all around.

Cody knows he’ll get over it – eventually. They’re both soldiers, and they serve at the whims of the Republic. In the end, following orders is what they do, isn’t it.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic of] Barren Humor](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4796825) by [Dr_Fumbles_McStupid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dr_Fumbles_McStupid/pseuds/Dr_Fumbles_McStupid)




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